Life is gooooooooood.
Remember how I last told you it was only the beginning? Well, I never lie! Let’s pick up where we left off Saturday, shall we?! I went with Leah to Ida Maria! My buddy Tim tagged along too. The music was lively – quite danceable – and the company can’t be beat.
Peaches picks a sweet-grass salad...
Violet Scoots
Boys Being Boys
Dad & Violet
Some opening band...
Myself & Miss Leah
Pabst-ilicious!
Pabst should pay us for this!
Roller Derby Queen of High Rollers
Ida Maria ROCKS!!!
Sunday came along – without skipping a beat – and the Mud Muckers won game 5 in a spectacular comeback! Speaking of comeback – guess who’s back in P-Town?! It’s CHLOE!!!
Ghost Runner
Armed & Dangerous
Vince Extends
Jessica Lamb & Randy Blazak
Vince & Erin
Mud Muckerettes
Evan & Chloe
Randy & Jessica
Mounted by C-spot
Chloe's new tat...
Breast Friends
Duncan Doesn't Mind
Chloe & Evan
Duncan McD!
Girly Girls
Chloe SHOULD be cut off at this point...
Well on our way...
Did we stop there? HECK NO! After we took Violet home and had a quick wardrobe change, Chloe and I were back in action. We took the max downtown, eventually making our way to the Portland Mercury’s Forecast Spring Fashion Show…at which point Miss Chloe became officially “too drunk” and had to be carried out. C’est la vie!
Gotta love public transportation!
No Chloe, you can't convert them.
Riff-Raf
Lock'er Up!
Gettin' there.
Tougher than it looks...
Erin (Pre-Strut)
Inside the Armory
Laura, Storm Large, Trish
Attentive Audience
Trish, Chloe & Yours Truly
I need a better camera for this...
Feathered
Greenery
I see her at all the big shows...
Erin Walks the Walk
TOUGH TIMES
Models on the stairs...
Mean Girl
Most Stylish Audience Member
Umbrella Lady
Drunky-La-Rue!
Adazoe and her Man
Todd & Ladyfriend
Spring Bride?
Adam Arnold & Muse
Kate Towers & Muse
Lingerie from Lille Boutique
Mud Muckers, Blake & Caitlin!
WHEW! I don’t know about you – but this is why I love Mondays: finally time for some R & R! Life is goooooooooood.
Only the Beginning…
At this moment (mid-weekend) it’s almost premature to write – since there’s SO much else happening, even tonight. Last you heard, life was thick with juicy words, and shit was flyin’ – messy turds! This week, we’ve calmed down a bit. A baby was born… So far, that’s about it.
5lb, 11oz
Insert breast here.
Mazzy Observes...
Momma B & Mazzy
AWWWWWWWWW
Probably not liking the flash...
Fresh Out th'Oven
Tarah Rose & her Mazzy
Sunset 4.22 ~7:50pm
From one of my favorite spots to scope sunsets...
You Know Who
Erin & Violet *rolls eyes*
New Girlfriends/Hiking Buddies
We hiked the Wildwood Trail, near Pittock Mansion
Lover-ly
Gorgeous Day!
21 = NEWBIES!!!
Piero lifts off at Departure
View from the top...
Rene & Sexy Rexy
Don’t fret! There’s still much more to come. The Ida Maria show is tonight at Wonder Ballroom – it’s a date with Leah. She’s a fun one. Plus tomorrow, it just gets better! Mud Muckers play again! Come check it out & bring your friends (4pm in the NE corner of Overlook Park, @ Interstate & Freemont)! After that’s the Mercury’s Forecast Spring Fashion Show.
See you there?! You’re in the know!
LOST BOOTY & CRAZY BITCHES
It’s been a pretty horrendous last few days in Audreality! Thursday, shot pool and Friday night went out on the town with a buddy. Saturday was one of those incredible Spring days in Portland where you glide through like you’re in a dream. Violet & I stopped by to check out Dad playin’ music at a little art fair, then headed to the Pearl with Peaches for a little fetch at the dog park in the afternoon sun. We caught many wonderful images throughout the day, but as the evening progressed, I began losing things, and sadly, the camera was one of them. After Violet & Peaches were safely back home, we hit up Departure, an excellent new bar downtown.
That was followed by a Farm Party, and ultimately back to Rontoms. By the end of the night I’d lost a green sweater, a camera (fully loaded with awesome pics), and the car (?!). You might say I overdid it. But I wasn’t done yet! I hailed a cab to help me find the car by driving systematically down each street near the bar. Good thing he knew what he was doing because clearly I was less than functional… By 4am, finally made it home to bed. At 8am, Violet got me up again.
We went for a delightful breakfast at Genies (Violet & I), where my favorite server, Theron, took excellent care of us. Afterward, we picked up Erin and her daughter Zoey, plus a six pack and – yes before noon – we were tippin’ ‘em back and gettin’ our tan on, topless on the deck. What do you expect?! It was game day!
That’s right, Mud Muckers rallied again for Game 4 – but were sadly humbled in defeat… *sigh* At this point I also lost a few additional items, including my house-key, my favorite water-bottle, and my phone. Turns out some invalid passed through the park where we were playing and picked it up, took it with him downtown, and then called us to have us come retrieve the darn thing. Not only that, but he wanted a reward! What a BOZO!
Are those my abs?!
Aud & Dara
As if that weren’t enough, yesterday was 420, so that meant I had no choice but to suck it up and have some more fun. Turns out, I got a bit more than I bargained for. As tradition has it, I migrated towards the top of Tabor for the annual community sesh…
Dad & Company
420!
Represent!
Gotta love the hookah!
Everything was fine and dandy – and Dad had fun too – until a large German Shepard started making problems. First, she got in a scary looking fight with another dog, nearby. THEN, while Peaches and I were minding our own business (playing stick) she attacked Peaches! Everyone knows not to try and break up a dog fight, but I got in there anyway and did my best to pry that bitch off my dog. It was useless – like I wasn’t even there. Nothing could make it stop until the other dog’s brain-dead owner stumbled over and helped me separate them.
Pre-Conflict
OYE VEY!!! That was SO FLIPPIN’ SCARY! Once I could stand again (and managed to quit shaking) we went home to calm down. Erin was there, with her close friend Liza, who ended up being an old friend of my Dad’s! Small world! We hung out on the deck, catching up on the last couple decades, until dinner time, when we headed to the Observatory…
Princess Violet
Erin & Liza
Miss Vi & I
Day turned to night and it was time to take off for the 420 Castle Party in West Linn. Turns out there were even more familiar faces than expected, including one I’d have rather not seen. This woman, who shall remain unnamed, is downright delusional. Somehow, in the last few years, she got the idea that I was hooking up with her ex-husband, which of course is ABSURD, but no matter what I’ve said to convince her of my innocence, she hasn’t been swayed.
At several points in the evening she got up in my face, yelling an array of insults; that I’m evil, that I’m a terrible mother, that I should be ashamed of how I conduct my life, etc. What could I do? “Please just leave me alone,” I said. I bit my tongue. I tried to keep at least a few people between her and I at all times, but it was impossible. It was getting out of control. Finally – I couldn’t hold back any longer. “You’re acting insane,” I said, “You’re completely bonkers!” (That felt good.)
Despite the drama, it was a great party. Plus, at the end of it, the woman tracked me down and before I could escape, she begged me to accept her apology. Not only that – she demanded a hug! And the first one wasn’t even good enough. I had to hug her again, like I meant it. GIVE ME A FRIGGIN’ BREAK WOMAN!
Mathias with his hands full...
Not-Quite-A-Castle Party
Hey Ladies!
Rochelle & Erin
SO! What have we learned?! 1. Audrey needs to lay off the sauce. Let’s see how that goes as a goal between now and my b-day (5.27 – don’t forget). Whittle it down to two days a week, perhaps? Is that too much to ask?! Also, I’m on a continuing reconnaissance mission tracking down lost items: already got the phone & another camera (but would LOVE to get the images at Departure & the Farm Party from the lost one), replaced my house key, and – this just in – my favorite water bottle is FOUND! I’ve given up on the green sweater. Last – and most importantly – WATCH OUT FOR CRAZY BITCHES!!!
Bridget’s Baby Shower
Tarah Rose & Mazzy
See Food
The Next Generation
Momma B
Danimal
Dad & Kate
Little Violet!
Aud, Bridget (& the Lego Man)
Mazzy
Present Time
Krista & her baby...
Tigger!
Portland’s Springtime Prime
Spring is about waking up. It’s getting outside. It’s adventure & spontaneity, sunshine & hailstorms, wee early mornings & late late nights. It’s an inner struggle between going out or getting rest, and somehow both are right.
Spring in Portland
My adorable new hiking buddies...
Peaches loves her frisbee...
We actually get credit for this?!
Magnificent Tree
Fur Monster
Trillium
Do Not Disturb!
After a deluxe 3-hour hike that left our legs tingly and fatigued, I rallied with Leah for the night…
Leah & Jamie
Mandy & Leah
Ethel & Her Broski
PARTIES, KICKBALL & DIVAS – OH MY!!!
Never a dull moment this time of year – it’s tough to shoot it all! BUT! I’ve managed to trap a few images yet again for those who missed out. Last weekend we hit up the Palace Party at a dreadfully tacky mansion in West Linn. You’d think people with the money to have such a place could pick up a sense of style… Alas, I digress.
Emergency lotion stop!
2-Headed Breast
Pals at the Palace
Gettin' Chummy
Bootylicious
Party Girls
Clean up on the dancefloor!
Mood Lighting
Backside of the Palace
Providers
Girls in the bathroom...
They sorta go with the decor...
Can I sign your abdomen too?!
Once we had our fill of drama and cheese, Dean brought us home where – much to my delight – colored lights and loud music were blaring from next door. Dean took off, and Lila pooped out, but I HAD to go investigate. In a nutshell, the kids were even younger. I almost went into mommy mode…
Kids! Isn't it past your bedtime?!
Little girl - don't jump!
T’was a pretty good run, for a Saturday night, but the next day blew it away! Mud Muckers stepped to the plate for game 3 – we busted the Balls of Fury with a little help from our secret weapon, the Nearly Naked Man.
Mini-Muckers
Gettin' warmed up...
Evan, Clothed
I love this kid...
I love my hot-ass team...
Seth, ballin.
Nearly Naked Man!
Becca & Aud
Sizing up the...fellow teammate's member?!
Dad & Kate
Evan Makes a Play
Nakedness, catching on...
At this point, we were down by 2. The bases were loaded – with 2 strikes. It was my turn at bat; tension was high. So I booted it – practically to outer space – bringing us into the lead, where we stayed comfortably through the remainder of the game…
Such focus!
GOOOOO MUD MUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!
It was a glorious game. Afterward, we headed back to my place for some BBQ! YUM!
Lovely Leah
Violet's Slimy Booger
Vince!
Kate & Dad
Leah & Evan
Mom & Dad
Mom & Princess V
It was one of those days that leaves you reeling. Monday, Tuesday – were all in a fog. There’s no way to do it justice in a simple blog. *sigh*
Yet, the world still turns. This week fluttered by and I’m still riding high. Last night was another spectacle for which to feast your eyes:
Starting with a beautiful sunset...
We headed downtown to check out the Northwest’s Fiercest Drag Diva competition, hosted by Portland’s own Poison Waters!
Poison Waters
The Stewardess Look
Fabulous!
Good as Gold
Divas
After we’d seen just about all there was to see, we moved on to the Doug Fir, where we cozied up to the fire and shared a few laughs.
I love my girlfriend!
Don't make me do it!
That pretty much brings us up to speed, folks! Thanks for watching.
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