Everyone Brings Something to the Table… I Want a Feast!

According to the stats, a fair amount of people show up to my site, looking to gain perspective about “compartmentalization of relationships.”  Fortunately, those who are looking for insight on this particular topic, have come to the right place.

Here, I’ll spend a few minutes to break it down:

I’ve only been in a couple long-term, monogamous partnerships.  The first was with the father of my child.  It lasted roughly two years, which (at 18) seemed like an eternity.  The next was with a guy who I met when I was 20, for five years.  We became enthralled with each other.  Nothing else in the world could possibly matter as much as coming home to our oh-so-significant other.  It was intoxicating.

But things have changed.  For myself, and an increasing number of my peers…  We practice compartmentalization.

Social Economics

One of the best feelings in life, is knowing you have something to offer.  For many people, it sets them apart from the group in one particular way, or another.  Generally, when a person knows they have done something to benefit the clan, you know what?  It feels alright!  The beauty of this equation is that although we are, as humans, almost entirely alike, our differences in skill, ability, talent, and personality… are amazing.  And when your life is full of relationships with people that each bring you a little taste of just-about-anything, you’re in for a treat!

Don’t forget – just like any tree – a social tree can benefit from well-planned pruning.  Sometimes we must lop off a dead branch, so the rest of our tree can flourish.  There simply isn’t enough time in the day to share yourself (on a real-life, personal level) with everyone.  If someone isn’t bringing anything to the table… or worse!  If what they are bringing is something you’d rather not have, you may be better off making room for something better.

These ideas were born early on – I remember it clearly.  Mom and Dad had been divorced since I was a kid, and one day, many years later, Dad told me.

He said, “There are some people you want to smooch on.  There are some people you want to see a movie with.  There are others who you can talk to about the news.”

I’ll add to that, there are people you work out with, people you go out to eat with, and people you like to drink with (if that’s what you so-choose).

The point is, each of these relationships are (potentially) fulfilling in their own way.  Any number of them, however, would be semi- to semi-serious violations to members of most traditional relationships.

Of course, there is a grey area.  Lots of people participate in both paradigms.  I see it often.  What this amounts to, is a whole lot of deception, and a fully loaded situation that could blow at anytime.  It doesn’t make me abandon my married friends, but I use caution and try to stay in control.

The extent to which relationships “go” are your business and your business alone.  I’m not hooking up with anyone at the moment (not against it) but I’ve got a beautiful variety of charming friends, both male and female, whose company I thoroughly enjoy!  I remind myself regularly, as addictive as people with certain chemistry can be, romantic intoxication is just that:  A chemical reaction, put in place by millions of years of evolution that actually made sex fun in the first place.

Because if it wasn’t?  Who would ever go through the daunting, costly tasks of pregnancy and raising kids?!  The human race would have ceased to exist a long time ago…

Anyway, this is my definition of compartmentalization, in a nutshell.  It’s why I always like to say, “Everyone brings something to the table…  I want a feast!”

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