The Good, the Bad & the Ugly


7am Thursday:  Woke up in the car, both under one sleeping bag, stretched across the front seats.  Our precious parking spot was going to become a dreaded no-parking spot at 8am, so we got moving right away.  We needed to find a FedEx, a place to get cleaned up, and some espresso.  Becky Jean put her handy smart phone to work…

Sent my Audreality package to the Unscripted Development Pipeline.  Parked near a very Portland-esque coffee shop, where we found our new friend, a beautiful, solid glass elephant made in Italy, in a pile of what Becky Jean called “broken treasures” just laying there on the sidewalk (!!!) by my car.  She is one of us now; we named her Elly.  Together, we grabbed ourselves some espresso, and got back on the highway.

For lunch, we had authentic Mexican food in the small desert town of  Paso Robels.  Another traveler was wandering by as we got back to the car.  He wanted to know where he could get some cheap eats.  And he happened to be from Portland!  We gave him some snack bars and a couple tangerines, then piled in for the next long segment of our drive.

6:30pm:  Arrived in LA, went straight to the Brewery (a huge artist compound) to unload the paintings, then on to my friend Pancho’s.  From his place, we walked to Stella, an upscale french cafe and split a few small plates: three meatballs, a bowl of lentils and half an artichoke.  We returned to Pancho’s, where Becky Jean slept on the couch, and me, on the living room floor.

 9am Friday: Pancho made us coffee and breakfast.  We ate with him and his son James, before they took off to see a movie.  We had our own mission: back to the Brewery for a brief “signing ceremony” because I had never gotten around to signing most of my paintings.  My older half-brother, Jeffrey, met us there, so we followed him to his place to hang out for a while.  After that, it was decided that we would spend the evening with Becky’s boyfriend (B-Star) and his gracious host/friend, in Venice Beach.

Yes, I said it.  When B-Star heard Becky Jean was going on this road trip, he made it a point to be here too.

8pm:  Arrived in Venice, at the apartment where B-Star is staying on the couch.

9pm:  We decided to explore a few bars with B-star and his buddy.  It was only an hour or so, before the other guy wanted to go home.  I made sure to clarify that it was okay for me to stay at his apartment overnight.  He said, of course it was no problem.  I could stay anytime!

We hung out for a little while longer at the bar, 31ten.  I was enjoying conversation with a new friend, Kenzel, while Becky Jean and her boyfriend were having thier own discussion nearby.  At some point, B-Star mentioned something about me hooking up with his friend back at the apartment and I was like, “Heck no, that is NOT gonna happen.”

They proceeded to get into an argument about whether I was trashy or not.  Then, he lost his temper, threw his cigarette onto the ground in disgust and gave me a few choice words, before storming out of the bar.  Shocked that he was behaving in such a way, Becky Jean decided it was best if we left too.

Far from over, the argument was juuuuust getting heated.  At some point, we split from B-Star and moved to the car, where I revved it up and started driving, immediately realized I was too drunk, so we re-parked and sat there.  I reminded her about my philosophy on the laws and limits of threshold and potential within the realm of dating.

At any given time in our lives, based on our current levels of fitness and state of emotional well-being, we have a dating/mating threshold and a potential.  The threshold is the least common denominator.  This is the lowest quality mate we could justify allowing ourselves to be with.  The potential marks the top end of the respective scale, the finest possible mate that would ever consider looking at us as an option.

Becky Jean’s situation is a textbook case of a lady dating a guy who is below her threshold.  She’s clearly out of his league.  Guys in this position tend to capitalize on a woman’s insecurities, making her think she can’t do any better, that they belong together forever, without exception.  They try to make the woman believe life is not possible if they are apart.  They see anyone who sees through this act as an enemy.

This time the enemy, is me.

While Becky Jean and her man hashed things out over the phone.  There was nothing I could say or do to make it stop.  I had to listen as she defended me against his attacks, called him out on his rude, inexcusable behavior, at times raising her voice, even yelling.  Stomach in a tight knot, I was shaking – she was pissed.

Several times she screamed at the phone, “I LOVE YOU!!!”  As if he needed to be convinced.  As if she wasn’t being a good enough girlfriend by putting up with his shit?!  I couldn’t wait for it to end.  But it was going to be a while.

Finally, B-Star’s friend took over the conversation.  Despite my objections, he convinced her that we should come back to his apartment to stay for the night.  It wasn’t safe to drive, and they couldn’t cope with the thought of us sleeping in the car again.  I re-confirmed that it was okay for me to sleep in his bed.  No problem.

“He’s going to act like it never happened,” I said to Becky Jean.  She actually wanted B-Star to apologize… to me.

I laughed, “He is so not going to apologize.”

When we got inside, she said to him, “When are you going to say you’re sorry to Audrey?”

“For what?”  He said, indignant.  I shook my head and went into the bedroom, where his friend was already in bed.  Supposedly asleep.  Fully clothed, I climbed in, keeping plenty of space between us.  But it was only a moment before he came over and tried persuading me to have sex.

“Really?”  I said, “We haven’t even flirted all night.  What makes you think I want to do it?”

Somehow, that got him turned on even more.  It became a full court press.  He wanted to get a load off, and he didn’t care how.  Could we PLEASE have intercourse?  No.  Could he put it in my mouth?  Gross!  No.  What about my ass?!  OH HELL NO!

Luckily, morning was rapidly approaching.

6am:  At the first sign of light, I woke up Becky Jean, and went for breakfast and a debriefing.

“How was your night?”  She asked.

“Not great, with him trying to stick his dick in my face the whole time.”

“WHAT?!?!”  She was sickened.  She never thought her boyfriend would associate with anyone who acted like that.  I almost couldn’t believe my ears.

“Are you kidding me?  Lots of guys behave that way.  To them, it’s normal.”

See Part 3.


2 thoughts on “The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

  1. Bravo! Your quote about mentally abusive men (below) hits home and has struck a cord with me because I feel this describes every guy I’ve ever dated!
    “Guys in this position tend to capitalize on a woman’s insecurities, making her think she can’t do any better, that they belong together forever, without exception.”

  2. stupid mother Fk’er !!!!! why are guy’s so not afraid to be a dick and want you to suck it too
    !!!!! mentally, emotionally and physically………what a jerk!!!! he should be oh so happy you did not loose your position as a lady and slug the shit out of him <3 Jerk Ass Hole…………that sickens me

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