UPDATE: It’s been a few days since the sexual harassment incident at kickball. Surprised how sick it makes me feel. I’m disappointed in all the men who may have been nice people before they were co-opted by the rude-boy/rape culture so prevalent today. Granted, not all guys are like this, but FAR too many… While countless others just laugh or look away.
Don’t we know by now, saying nothing in the face of wrongdoing, inaction supports the status quo? I should mention here, the captain of the orange team has apologized. (Thanks Jesse!) No word from the offending dudes. I’m certain, the guys expected me to laugh it off. It was just a joke.
Well folks, results are in. Survey says! IT WASN’T FUNNY.
Despite being labeled a “stupid feminist” on Twitter, I am not alone in being outraged. Here are a few of the responses:
“EEEW WHAT THE FUCK” – Lena
“What??? Did that really happen?! That’s so terrible! Did you tell anyone? I’m sorry that happened to you, that’s not okay at all.” – Shannon
“I want to kick this guy in his balls! Really fucked up! He is a perfect example of rape culture. I can’t believe he tugged your hair!!! Gross. Sorry babe. But good for you for blasting him!” – Sarah
“They were completely fucking awful… I am appalled and disgusted that those men spoke to you that way! I probably would have been so tempted to kick them in the balls.” – Savannah
(Amazing how many people have suggested a swift kick in the nuts.)
“Oh, super right to be pissed. It’s perfect example of male privilege. And women are ‘bitches’ if they call bullshit on it.” – Randy (Professor Blazak)
“You are right… I didn’t realize he yanked your braid. The league should kick them out. That’s assault and sexual harassment. It is not funny and should not be condoned. I know your self-esteem is not at it’s height right now but don’t you dare back down. That’s disgusting what they did and more needs to be done about it.” – Miss Triche
“Holy shit, report those assholes to the league. It’s a woman running it, right? That’s super unacceptable. Fucking disgusting. ‘I didn’t know’ is such BS. Sounds like the type to hit on you, then call you ugly when you turn him down.” – Bridget
Sent my essay to Kirsten, who manages the league. She responded right away saying, “You should’ve punched them in the face… That’s fucked up, I’m sorry they thought it was okay to talk to you like that. You want me to talk to them? I am super pissed off.”
A little while later, she followed up: “Just letting you know, those two are suspended for Sunday’s games. And warned that if I hear one inappropriate remark/situation they are kicked out. WAKA wanted them kicked out… I made a compromise.”
Had a whirlwind of mixed feelings. I don’t want beef with anyone, but not reporting derogatory comments would’ve meant they were acceptable. (When I called one of them on it a few minutes after it happened, he laughed in my face.) If we believe that people deserve respect, this is a prime example of when someone has to put their foot down. We must speak up, speak clearly and make sure our voice is heard.
“Oh wow. Damn. Yeah, I can understand that about WAKA wanting action.”
Kirsten said, “I wanted action, which is why I brought it to their attention. It’s not okay.”
“Thank you. My mom, my daughter, and lots of friends are in the same boat. I appreciate you stepping up. I hate that it will be weird with those dudes but they need to know it’s not okay.”
“Of course I’m going to do something. I’m a woman too. Fuck that shit.”