Boyfriend Application FAIL

WP_20160410_003 *The following is an actual transcript of a barrage of messages, recently received, via Tinder. See my reaction go from playfully amused, to annoyed, to veritably pissed-off. This guy’s passive-aggressive venting happened shortly after I told him I’m not available to meet. (My words are on the right.)

Hey Audrey. I’m in Panama. I’m heading to Ecuador because I’m not attractive to American women. I know I am physically [attractive] and can perform well… But something unspecified about my “personality” isn’t good enough so I am sex starved from them. It got to the point where I can get ugly girls if I read a ton of dating books and spend time online (many many hours), but I am opening a business and busy now so I get zero sex. I took 2 weeks off to visit the cheap hookers [in Ecuador] because it’s $5-$10 for a hot girl and I can bang 2-3 every day. Whatever happened to the days where girls would put out if you were handsome with a big dick and fit body… Geeze…

Good luck! Ecuador is amazing. Check out the magical beach town of Montanita. There’s a language school where rich kids go learn Spanish.

Thanks but I’m here for the sex lol It’s legal here for prostitution. A hot girl in the US expects $300 for making me cum once. The plane ticket was $300… I bought the package deal, all you can eat for $1000. Plus a vacation. There’s no way I’d pay American women after the rejected me, it’s like holding my balls ransom. I guarantee I’ll get more action for cheaper and less time than possible in prude America. They aren’t prude… But their “personality” standards are too high. I can’t compete and succeed there.

Well then knock ’em dead in Ecuador. And wear condoms.

Yeah after fucking a bunch of hot chicks maybe I’ll give off a different vibe when I get back and be more pleased with women as a whole, causing a positive chain reaction. Like jumpstarting a car.

You might be onto something!

I watched those dating shows where they makeover people… I already smell great, I’m a fitness champ competitor, I have blonde hair, blue eyes, no glasses and nice teeth. I make a lot of money. Huge porn star size dick. Tan. Can dance/DJ very well. Went to college. Have friends and long term friends. Not afraid to approach. I can get girls in LA easier than Connecticut. But they’re all out of shape or crazy. I want one that’s like me. I’m not shy either. I’m actually an escort. I can get all the sex I want from fatties. Any girl over a 6 won’t write back. Or 7.


I’m explaining the truth. You’re like a 6. That’s not bad. You didn’t work out and didn’t get a boob job. You’d be an 8 or a 9 if you did those things. Think about all of the effort I put in for those extra points. 14 years working out/dieting. Spending money and time on supplements. Spending money and time on tanning 3-4 times a week. I don’t look NEARLY as good all natural.

Of course I work out. This conversation is over.

Yeah but I take steroids. You didn’t push your body that hard. I could die for this this. I deserve some credit for effort.

Fuck you. I’m a mother. You just might.

I’m also getting a hair transplant to make my hair perfect. I can’t tan naturally so I take an injection to get tan of non-FDA approved drugs. I’ll probably get cancer from doing all this shit to get women to be attracted. I studied an entire 10 books on how to talk to women and took a year off to do so. Apparently I’m too good for hot chicks to get some action. All these ugly fat chicks think they deserve a piece.


3 thoughts on “Boyfriend Application FAIL

  1. Wow. Hopefully just trolling. People can’t actually talk to others like that can they? Amazing to converse as nicely as you did in the first place.

    The things women have to deal with online, terrible!

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