Week in Audreality

Erica’s back! She arrived Wednesday evening. I wasn’t able to pick her up from PDX because it was my turn to host the Film Fatales meeting. Our loosely-defined topic of discussion this month: “How to get Stuff (equipment, access, services) via Sponsors and Business Partnerships,” chosen by Yours Truly, in preparation for NAB.

Erica was one of three surprise guests at the Film Fatales gathering. My daughter, Violet, and her boyfriend George chimed in, both of whom have little to offer when it comes to film making, but they do have valid insights into the world of social media, which is crucial consideration in any film marketing plan. (Their Muser Movement events, bringing together social media stars and their fans, have been well-attended.) Erica doesn’t have any experience in film, except starring in my Nipples Against Trump episode during her first visit. She did, however, share a bunch of delicious Japanese snacks. Who wants some green-tea flavored Kit-Kats?!

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The following day was First Thursday, when all the galleries in the Pearl District (and neighboring Old Town/Chinatown) open their doors with free wine and cheese for everyone. And oh yeah, there’s art. It’s all about the art. We left my house on foot, found a car2go vehicle, then drove west until rush hour traffic became impassible. Ditched the car ten blocks shy of Burnside Bridge.

“Might as well run,” I said, taking off at an easy clip.

Much to my delight, Erica stayed with me. Jogged the rest of the way to the Pearl, giggling as we passed the all the cars stuck in gridlock. Bopped around First Thurs, people-watching, bumping into friends, taking in the scenery, imbibing. Along the way we picked up an adorable kid (I refer to many so-called adults as kids, including myself), who said he actually likes Beaverton. He shocked Erica too, by speaking in fluent Japanese. After a while, the three of us ducked into a fancy hotel to use the restroom, and lounged a bit longer in their cushy lobby. Soon we realized the weed shops were closing in half an hour and we still hadn’t bought any. Erica and I bid adieu to our new friend and back headed east on foot, over Morrison Bridge.

The bridge was up. We waited. There was a growing line of cars and two bikes, also waiting. Minutes later, the bridge was still just a loud, beeping wall. No ships in sight, just the dark river, with it’s glittering reflection of city lights. Nothing better to do, we took a selfie.


Looking at our next-closest bridges, Burnside and Hawthorne, we concluded Hawthorne, slightly closer. Debated waiting indefinitely. No time to spare, the weed shop was closing! We ran.

Down the ramp, along Waterfront Park, up the curly sidewalk at the foot of Hawthorne Bridge, over and across. Stopped briefly to celebrate, because Morrison Bridge was still raised when we got to the other side. As we passed a homeless encampment, a barking Pit shook itself loose from it’s tent and came after us. We were startled, but I sensed this was not a bad dog.

“Stop running! The tail is wagging – it won’t hurt us.”

As I caught him, the giant retractable leash wrapped around, clipping me hard in the shin. Returned the dog to his owner, kept jogging.

It began to rain. Truly more of a cooling mist, which at this point, we enjoyed. Made it to Gras Cannabis just in time.

Friday there was a grand opening party for Patagonia. It was only a few blocks from the monthly Meet & Greet at Sanctuary, a new private club for people in the non-monogamous/Lifestyle community. Sanctuary is (what I call) an anything goes club, a safe space where you might just find a naked person, comfortably bound in rope, hanging from the ceiling. There we heard the magic words that would get us into PDX-Rated, a regular First Friday event at Bossanova. It features a dance party on the main level, and a kink party upstairs, with all sorts of BDSM activities.


I’ve never considered myself a kinky person, but I do find that world intriguing. Both at Sanctuary and at PDX-Rated, you are welcome to observe and/or participate. On this particular night, I got spanked so hard, it broke the paddle.


Saturday was uneventful, because I had to work a Load Out for a coping-with-death conference. Yes there is such a thing! Just ask the Association for Death Education and Counseling. Or TAPS: Tragedy Assistance for Survivors. (These are the groups who sponsored the conference.) All I want to say is: One Fucking Guy who I work with made a “joke” at my expense. And I’m a little surprised at how much I was – you might say – triggered. It took me to a Not Good Place for several minutes, at which point the OFG approached me saying, “I can tell you’re pissed. But I was joking.”

Let’s rewind: We were packing thousands of pounds of equipment into cases. There’s incentive to get things done as fast as possible. It’s one of the reasons why there are so many injuries in this business: heavy objects are moved quickly, with lots of room for human error. Not to mention, variation in strength and ability. (I was the only female on the crew.) At one point, I asked this OFG for assistance lifting something heavy.

He said, “If you can’t lift it, you shouldn’t be in this line of work.”

This OFG stood there laughing, while I struggled to lift the container by myself. Yes, I was able to hoist that object onto the truck. But it would have been quicker and safer if he’d given a hand. And it was not lost on me, if this OFG was indeed joking, he would have helped. He proceeded to stand around for five minutes, while the rest of us worked around him.

That’s when he said he could tell I was mad – but it was just a joke. I told him he’s an asshole and stuffed the rest of my disgust into the pit of my stomach, to make our last fifteen minutes more bearable.

Sunday I had work again, this time on video crew for Radiohead. The Load In was mostly spent building a large, oval-shaped LED wall and setting up a dozen 4K (super-HD) cameras. *Cue camera-envy.

Took a shower and a nap, then went to happy hour at Over & Out with Erica and Meg (for the most excellent fish tacos). Crossed the street to spend couple hours at Thatchers for free pool night. At 10:30pm I was back at the Moda for the Radiohead Load Out. Got to listen to the last couple songs up close, always a treat, before the house lights came on and it was time to get busy.

Most of Monday was stuck in front of the computer, at home. This made me grumpy. Plus, it was shaping up to be a pretty sunset, so I set out for a meandering bicycle ride. Landed at my friend, Alicia’s house. I appreciate her willingness to have me over, when I’m roaming. She’s a creative, like a sister to me. A stoner sister, my fave. Her current/primary project is a hilarious digital TV series, “Benefits of Gusbandry.” (Something you should totally binge-watch on Amazon Prime.) We did a little sleuthing to find the most logical happy hour for us at that moment, a place with cheap drinks, good food, and was at least somewhat on my way home. That’s how we discovered Bang Bang.

OMG! I’m glad it took 1400 words to get here because hopefully no one is paying attention and we can just keep this place to ourselves. Just pretend I didn’t mention it. (SO GOOD!) We hit the late happy hour, ordered a bunch of items to share and everything was so delicious, I wanted to order every single thing a second time. But our bellies were full. We finished with a coconut creme brûlée that was spot-on, despite being vegan. Downed our manhattans, gave a Alicia a hug, and biked home.

Tuesday: Woke early. The sun was shining, and biking was such a boon the day before, Erica and I set out on another bike ride, this time in search of breakfast. (And weed.) First stop was Fried Egg I’m In Love, one of the top two breakfast carts in Portland. Fried Egg is extra cool cause it’s neighbor, in the same food cart pod, is Tov, a Turkish coffee & tea shop inside a beautifully refurbished double-decker bus. My go-to drink is mint infused: Green Thing.


From there, we cruised over to Serra, where they were having an Early Bird special, 20% off before noon! Got some super-stinky Sherbet (Sativa-dominant, 23.9% THC). Threw our bikes onto the next bus, sparing ourselves a long uphill ride. Don’t worry, we made up for that later.

At 2pm, Laura came over for a round of Freestyle Fitness at Mt. Tabor. We did a lite version of our stations workout, since Erica is new and had no idea what she was in for. Not to mention, she was sucking air. But she remained in great spirits, never losing morale. The workout lasted a little over an hour. By evening, we were already feeling it.

Whew! That was one heckuva Week in Audreality. Come back soon, we’ll discuss what’s up at the Dangerous Women’s Collective.

One thought on “Week in Audreality

  1. This is an amazing blog! I’m going to have to check out PDX-Rated! Thank you for helping make Portland a closer knit community, AUDREALITY!

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