Battle of the Boobs

A friend is having her breast implants removed, because they’ve gotten hard. She wants nothing more than to get these foreign objects out of her body. After a recent surgical consultation, she shared a video of herself, lamenting about the time it’s going take to heal. She’s sad she’ll be stuck with “mom boobs” until she’s well enough to get her breasts lifted.

I winced when she said it. Even though we hadn’t hung out or spoken for several years, felt compelled to send her a message:

“Thanks for sharing your journey. It’s good for me to hear your story because I (from time to time, over the years) have fantasized about having a boob upgrade – something I doubt I’ll ever be able to afford. It is powerful and brave of you to be out here in the open with this. I am crying with you! It hits home especially because, as you know, I had Violet at a young age. For a long LONG time (including the years that I was supposed to be young and hot) I thought I’d ruined my body. It was a long process, both mentally and physically, to get to a point where I love myself and am grateful for every square (or rather, cubic) inch of my healthy, able self. 

I realize now, I had image disorder, which seems to be an epidemic in our mainstream society. I’m just disappointed to hear you talking about “mom boobs” like they’re ugly or something to be ashamed of. I always try not to take it personally – but the stigma is real. Perhaps someday you’ll agree, when you take everything into consideration, “mom boobs” are some of the most beautiful things in the world. 

Anyway, I hope you get the implants out asap and if you can help it, try not to fret about what it looks like. Remember my broken face? It took 18 months of surgeries before I had teeth again. Meanwhile, you can gain all sorts of unexpected gifts, in the form of life lessons. (Heck, I’ve got a book!) And you can rest assured, from the other side, six months or a year goes by in a hurry! There’s nothing better than having kids to teach us that.”

She replied:

“Hey old friend! Thank you for your thoughtful perspective, I am really sorry about what I said about “mom boobs”… I am on my own journey of forgiving myself for putting giant objects in my breasts that will make them even saggier… ah. the journey to self love. I am very much ON the journey and am not perfect ❤ but I appreciate you saying something so I can choose my words as carefully as possible, while being true to the difficulty of the journey. Are you still playing kickball? Would love to see you sometime.”

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